A friend sent me a Sade video the other day, right after we had a conversation about fear.

She said that youth seems to have this bold fearlessness that goes along with it … that changes with age in our society for women. At least that’s her experience she’s noticed recently.

Sounds familiar?

It was interesting to notice this—and I started wondering… Why is that? Why do so many women feel more cautious, anxious, or unsure as they get older?

Is it just life experience? Or is there something deeper going on?

As I sat with it, a few things came up that started to make sense…

1. The pressure to hold it all together grows with age

As we get older, we take on more roles—career, relationships, parenting, care-giving, responsibilities.

There’s this quiet (but constant) pressure to keep things functioning, to not mess up, to be “the strong one.”

That pressure alone can create a background level of anxiety. Because deep down, we’re scared of dropping the ball. Not just for ourselves—but for everyone who relies on us.

So we become more cautious, not because we’re weak, but because the stakes feel higher.

And when you're constantly carrying that mental and emotional load, it’s hard to feel free, bold, or brave.

2. We carry more emotional baggage

Over time, we go through things—disappointments, heartbreak, burnout, rejection… And even when we "move on," the emotional impact often stays in the body.

Many of us also start playing it safe without realizing it.

After a while, fear becomes a habit, not just a reaction. We don’t risk as much because we’ve learned it might hurt.

But that safety starts to feel like being stuck. And it slowly chips away at our confidence.

3. Our hormones change

In our 20s and early 30s, we’re often riding on natural energy and hormonal support. There’s more resilience, more confidence, more boldness.

But with age, our hormones shift.

And that shift doesn’t just affect the body—it affects how we feel emotionally. We might not bounce back the same way, and if we don’t recognize what’s happening, we start to blame ourselves.

4. Our brain is wired differently

Women are actually wired to feel more than men.

Our prefrontal cortex (the part that plans, analyzes, and notices risk) develops earlier than in men. That sounds helpful… but it also means we grow up “too adult” too soon.

We start sensing danger earlier. We pick up on details. We overthink. It can easily spiral into fear or anxiety if our system is under pressure.

And most women’s systems are.

5. Epigenetics: inherited fear we didn’t choose

This one hit me the most when I first came across it.

We’re not just reacting to what we’ve been through—we’re carrying the emotional weight of generations before us.

Fear. Shame. Self-doubt. Passed down silently from our mothers, grandmothers, and beyond. Not because they did something wrong, but because no one showed them how to release it either.

Sometimes we overreact to something small and think, “What’s wrong with me?”

But it’s not always your fear—it’s your bloodline’s. It’s wired into the nervous system, stored in the body, and passed down through survival patterns.

Even when life looks “fine” on the outside, something inside can feel unsafe, unseen, or constantly on edge.

It’s not the mindset. It’s not personality. It’s what’s been inherited.

The good news? You don’t have to keep carrying it. You can be the one to stop the cycle.

6. We stop listening to our gut

This one touches everything.

The more we override our gut feeling, the more confused we become.

We start second-guessing. Looking outside ourselves. Asking others what’s “right” instead of checking in with what feels right. And with that, we slowly lose trust in ourselves.

It’s not that life became more dangerous or unpredictable—it’s that we disconnected from the one voice that always knew what we needed.

When you don’t trust your gut, fear fills the space. You hesitate. Overthink. Avoid. Not because you’re weak—but because you’ve lost your anchor.

And fear? It thrives in disconnection.

The good news?

That connection isn’t gone. It’s just buried under all the noise. And the moment you start listening again, things begin to shift.

Clarity returns. Calm follows.

A moment from my week...

Just a few days ago, I had this celebration and networking event I was really looking forward to.

But when the day came, I had just come back from a long international trip. I was tired, emotionally flat, and feeling strangely unconfident.

A part of me thought, “What if I just don’t go?” But I remembered how excited I was a month ago.

So I decided to go—but without pushing or forcing. I told myself: “I’ll just show up as I am. I don’t need to be anything else.”

And honestly… it worked. I didn’t fake confidence. I just showed up in the state I was in—and that was enough.

Sometimes it’s just hormones. Sometimes you’re simply tired. Other times, it’s something deeper—epigenetic patterns, emotional layers, past pressure you didn’t even know you were still carrying.

And when you start to really know yourself—your cycle, your energy, your emotional needs—you stop fighting with yourself. You allow. You give space.

And that alone brings relief. That’s when healing starts to happen.

If this feels familiar…

You might be curious to find out what’s actually running you. What’s the deepest layer keeping you blocked or in fear?

I use a specific process that reveals your most hidden beliefs—so you can finally see clearly what’s been keeping you stuck.

I’m here if you’d like to find out what’s been running the show in your life. You can book your spot here. It’s not advice or coaching—it’s a calm, grounded space to explore what’s really going on underneath the fear or confusion.

A space to see if the work I do is the right fit for you—especially if you’re ready to stop carrying what was never really yours. If nothing else, you’ll walk away clearer and more connected to yourself.

“Bravery is not being afraid to be afraid.” – Marie Colvin

You don’t need to be fearless. You just need something that helps you feel safe in who you already are.

And sometimes… the fear isn’t even yours. It just stayed stuck in your bloodline for too long.

But you can be the one to finally set it free.

📝 Self-Check: Is Fear Running the Show?

Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:

☐ Am I feeling pressure to hold it all together for everyone else?

☐ Have I been carrying emotional weight that I haven’t fully processed?

☐ Do I notice changes in my energy, mood, or confidence that I can’t explain?

☐ Have I been ignoring my gut feeling or doubting myself lately?

☐ Do I feel fear or hesitation even when nothing is “wrong”?

☐ Am I being hard on myself for feeling the way I do?

There’s no right or wrong here—just awareness. These questions are simply here to help you notice what might be driving your fears.

And sometimes… even that awareness is enough to start feeling lighter. When it’s not—that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It just means there’s something deeper asking to be seen.

There IS a solution made for women—and if you're ready to go to the root, I can help.

👉 Book your free Discovery call